Hello my beautiful friends! I am sitting at a lovely coffee shop downtown Portland, rocking out to some hipster tunes. It comes as no surprise that I have no clue who I’m listening to because it’s not teen pop, hip hop or country. What I do know is that I am simply enjoying this moment. You see, I had a recent realization. I was driving home to Portland from Bend a few days ago and it hit me. I was completely content with my life.
This revelation caught me off guard because up until this point, my adult life had been in a consistent state of me trying to achieve something or working towards changing something; I was unemployed and trying to get a job. I was in a relationship, trying to get out of it. I was single and trying to get in a relationship. I was in one career, trying to change to another. Living in one town, trying to move to another. I was in a constant state of trying to change.
Then it hit me. I was completely happy and satisfied with where my life was at the moment. I liked my current job in digital marketing. I liked working from home. I liked living in Portland. I liked my roommate. I liked who I was dating. I liked being close to my family and friends. I liked going for hikes on the weekend. I liked going to the farmers market Saturday mornings. I liked taking day trips out of town with friends. I liked where my life was at the moment and had no desire to make any drastic changes.
Wait? Who was this girl? The Kilee that I knew always had grand plans in the works. She was ready to conquer the world and forge ahead on a new path. The past 10 years held many big moves and changes of pace. I didn’t know what it felt like to be content with this newfound status quo. Was something wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be striving for more? Shouldn’t I be making plans for the next phase of my life?
As these questions arose, I allowed myself to just be in the moment and feel the feelings. I gave thanks for my amazing friends that I got to spend time with while in Bend. I appreciated the fact that my sister was close by and we could get together whenever we felt like it. I gave thanks for all that I’ve learned over the past few years and for the people who have walked with me during different parts of my path. I also made note that the past 6 months simply fell into place. I didn’t plan for any of this to happen.
I moved to Portland on a whim and had every intention of it being a temporary place to land before I moved on to a new city. However, everything has fallen into place beautifully. I noted that taking this feminine, receptive approach, felt really good. I noted that I didn’t plan for my life to unfold this way. However, it did and it feels really amazing.
What I’ve learned so far is that how we feel is a better way to make our life decisions as opposed to judging them based off what we think about them. The intuitive hits we receive from our hearts and guts are more trustworthy than the thoughts we think in our heads. This is the opposite of how many of us are conditioned to make decisions. I am in the process of un-learning using my analytical brain to call all the shots and instead employing my heart and gut to guide me.
This sometimes means being unable to fully comprehend why I’m choosing to do or not do something. I simply have to trust that a greater power is guiding me. I choose to trust that the Universe has an even better plan in store for me. I’m learning how to trust. I’m learning how to let go. I’m learning how to simply be in the moment.
I invite you to look at your life and identify if there are any areas in which you can let go of the wheel and give control over the Universe? Are there ways you can stop trying so hard to make things happen and instead just be in the moment for a bit? I’m not preaching here! I’m asking myself to do the same as well.
So much love,